Sunday, July 22, 2012

I was his only one

He was my best friend. He always knew what to say, he was Smart, he was Funny, and he was gay. He told me, yep. One day he just said it, like it was nothing, “By the way I’m gay,” were his exact words. He didn’t talk much for the next few days. We just laid in the park. That’s all he ever wanted to do. Just lay there. In the park. On a rock that was hidden from view. And we just laid there. Before school, after school, and on the weekends. We just laid there.

Then he started talking. Not much at first. But he started talking. We talked about everything. We talked about nothing. We would talk. Just talk and lay in the park. He told me how hard it was. He told me how his parents were always at church and always fighting.

He told me how I was the only one who understood him. And while we talked and lay in the park. I noticed something. I noticed he only talked to me. At school everyone loved him. Girls mostly. But he never talked to anyone. He would sit with his popular friends, but not talk. Just sit. And he would smile at me on occasion. And I noticed I would watch the clock until school was out. So we could go up and lay and talk in the park. But I also noticed he didn’t like to be seen with me.

And one day I asked him why. And he told me. “Because I love you,” and he cried. He cried because he couldn’t show he loved me. Because if he did, he would lose his friends. He would lose his family. And I hugged him. And He cried.
He told His parents the next day. His mom cried, His dad yelled, and I held his hand. He couldn’t stand it anymore. And he ran. He ran into the rain.

And I knew where he was going. And I went there. He just sat there. Curled up with his face buried between his knees. And I didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know what to do. And I sat with him. And he looked at me. And we just stared. And he said “I love you” and I said “Me too”. And He smiled. And I kissed him. And the rain stopped shortly afterwards. But we were still there. Holding hands.

And when it got late, we went home. And we came through his window. And we laid there. His arms wrapped around me. And we were wet, and we were cold, and I said “I love you” and he said “I love you too” and we fell asleep.

In the morning, he wasn’t there anymore. And I heard yelling. His parents. They said they were moving next week. They had to keep him away from me. And they were sending him to a special school. A school where they would “fix him”. And he had to leave me behind and never see me again. And I cried. And left through the window.

He wasn’t at school that day. He wasn’t at school that week. And I didn’t see him anymore. He loved me. And I loved him. His parents didn’t. And he killed himself for these reasons. He was my best friend. And I … I was his only one.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

everyone wants...

Everyone wants to be important
Everyone wants to be heard
Everyone wants to be the center of the circle
Where friends are hanging on your every word

Everyone wants to be respected
Everyone wants to be liked
Everybody needs somebody to listen
Even somebody like me

When you want to be more fascinating
You might say things that aren't quite true
Everyone's tempted to fib sometimes
Even someone good like me

We want folks to admire us
We want someone to care
We want to make a difference:
And to know that others know we're there

But everyone has their own importance
That's what I've come to see

Respect's not a thing
You can make someone give you
It's something you have to earn

Who would've thought
After all this time
There were more things I had to learn

Friday, July 13, 2012

my "ON..."


ON MOODS - Im an EASY RIDER.

Always taking life how it comes, and living in the moment. I dont get fazed by life, I just breeze through.A bit of romantic and have a taste for exotic. When it comes to art, Im definitely unconventional. I like to think differently, always from another perspective. I have a good sense of humour. As for music, its the soundtrack to my world. It gives me focus, and concentration I might find it hard to switch off. My choice of treat reveals an indulgent side of me. Im a real food lover.


ON FUN - Im an ESCAPE ARTIST.

I am forever slipping off, getting away from the rat race, and recharging those batteries. Independent and thoughtful, I know myself well. I take any opportunity to tune out and immerse myself in my own world. I like to keep a healthy distance and not get too caught up in all the dramas life can throw at me keeping a cool head. For kicks, I like to experience life at full volume with the lights on full. Im extremely passionate and emotional.When it comes to holidays, I reckon they should always be indulgent a very special treat and a chance to spend quality time with family and friends.


ON HABITS - I go BACK TO BASICS.

I am striving for a simpler life, I do without disposable trends I am inspired by nature and longevity.Even if I have a healthy approach to life, I still have my little vices that keep me going throughout the day. It is all part of the routine, Im a creature of habit. Mmmm caffeine, I love the stability and comfort of routine. Sometimes I need an extra kick to get going. I like my surroundings to be simple.


ON LOVE - Im a real HOME SOUL.

My heart is always at its nest, I place real importance on friendships. I am family minded, and forge strong relationships. When I think of freedom I think of technology providing me with the links to communicate wherever I am.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

all start with "I"

I think life should be fun.
I don’t like work.
I think its important to have a sense of humor.
I would like to travel the world.
I love freedom.
I love animals.
I like being with groups of people for social activities.
I believe in Truth.
I love God.
We all have so many gifts.
I believe in some kind of Divine Power.
I am good at praising others.
I don’t think others should believe the same things I believe.
I believe in living my truth and setting a positive example.
I am right-brained (the creative/intuitive half).
I know that you have to commit to some beliefs to make your life meaningful.
I want to know as much as possible.
I love my friends.
I don’t think others should be into the same things I am into.
I have big plans/dreams.
I am naturally lucky, and I attract positive opportunities to myself.
I believe in expanding your mind.
Community is so important to me.
We all need to come together.
I work with imagination and intuition.
I am very honest.
Like a child, I say what I think.
I can be less blunt if my words are going to hurt someone’s feelings.
I don’t like things to get boring or routine
I want a partner who fulfills my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
I always see both sides of the story.
Art and beauty are very important to me.
I don’t let myself get too needy.
Marriage is sacred to me.
I value commitment in relationships.
I like to keep things balanced.
I don’t like to go overboard with anything.
I would rather yield to others than fight.
I value harmony with others very highly.
I value mental activity very highly.
I love people.
I don’t get caught up in thinking, “It’s not fair!”
When good things happen for others, I am happy for them. I don’t get caught up in wishing they were happening to me.
I enjoy refined tastes and the nicest things.
I feel both masculine and feminine.
I like it when things are light-hearted.
I know that you should hold out for the perfect partner.
I like to keep a smile on my face.
I don’t like negative energy.
I can be very persuasive.
I am instinctually diplomatic.
I want to have kids someday.